HA!!! Yep- that's me!!!!! I'm a stay at home mom!!!! Well, I've been done teaching for about 10 days, so I have a ton to "muse" about! I will say we have had some AWESOME days at home- lazy, busy, what have you. 3 days we stayed in our jammies until swim lessons, had swim lessons and came home and put clean jammies on. I love summer! My kids have also discovered someone interesting this summer. Her name is Dora. Yes, you know her- Dora the Explorer. Thank you Lord for sparing me from Dora all these years. The lists of issues I have with Dora is lengthy. I know all kids shows are kind of S-T-U-P-I-D, but I think Dora may be the worst (or maybe it's that we have one DVD and it seems to have been streaming non-stop for the last 10 days). First of all, Dora's parents wave goodbye to her in the opening credits and THAT IS THE LAST WE SEE OF THEM!!! Really Mr. and Mrs. Explorer?! Nice family values- your 5 year old can just roam (seemingly the whole world) with her pet monkey with no supervision (except her older cousin- Diego is another post). I am estimating Dora's age on the size of her head. Pet monkey? Kind of a bad idea huh- although he seems to be the brains of the operation. Dora has a backpack that contains all kinds of things that would never fit into a backpack (trust me, Andrew has tried). When she takes them out to have you choose what she needs to help her, the backpack eats everything else and says "delicioso"- this mortified Annabelle. "The backpack just ate all of Dora's stuff- Mommy, how will she get the stuff she needs to finish her adventure?" Great question. The map- the only real directions Dora ever receives or follows come from him. He helps her get to her destinations with a song that memorizes the land marks. I do actually like this as it teaches kids to be aware of their surroundings. Although it is a little vague like, "dunes, boardwalk, beach". Really, cause those are super exact. No one would ever get lost following 3 word directions for 30 mins. Then there is Swiper, the sly fox who always tries to steal stuff. "Swiper, no swipping" (3 times)! If this works, obviously Swiper has some sort of moral compass and knows what he is doing is wrong. HE needs to go to rehab and choose another profession. "Paging Dr.Drew"! Often our encouragement doesn't help Swiper make a good choice. To this I say, "DORA TURN AROUND!!!!" Swiper is always RIGHT BEHIND YOU!!!!!!!!! Lastly, "DORA-YOU CALL YOURSELF AN EXPLORER??!!!" Make a freaking decision! Don't ask us, a bunch of kids, what to do! You are the "explorer"! You should be able to exercise some Independence and good decision making skills. SERIOUSLY! Isn't that why your parents let you out of the house in the first place to "EXPLORE" everything? Gosh Dora! Get it together!
2 days ago